i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
