It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
