Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
