forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
