dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
