I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
