508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I am available for nakedness
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
