I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
