There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
How's work?
Spinning.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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