One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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