My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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