I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
sex in a hospital.. check
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
