i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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