it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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