Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
