Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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