Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize