so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
