We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
