And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
