apparently the secret to your success is patron
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize