I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I would fuck him just for his dog
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
