peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
