I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
