Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Pooping to opera.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
