so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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