just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
