Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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