Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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