Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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