it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
