i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
