IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
