i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
