Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
