By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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