The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
