you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
