After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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