She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Randomize
