I think scott just propositioned me for sex
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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