I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Two words: nipple clamps
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