Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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