does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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