Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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