his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
