he shaved USA in his pubs
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
