Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
