Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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