He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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