I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
