Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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