Umm I'm too high to move.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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