Fine. I'll sleep in my office
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
There's always time for handjobs
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
