Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
