My hand turned me down
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
