im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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