just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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