chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
