She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
