you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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