If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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