So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Im just a social blackout drinker.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
