when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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