You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
