physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
