you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
