Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
