Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he wants to bone in the snuggie
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
