you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
