i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize