my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
