just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
