ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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